A funeral home not too far from my house has spent the last few months building a brand new chapel, designed to match the early 1900’s style of the rest of the building. I was running past the corner of Canal and Carrollton, a corner where I see a lot of things, and saw a funeral procession. Police on motorcycles blocking the intersections, a hearse followed by three black Lincoln Town Cars like my grandfather used to drive, followed by a procession of cars with blinking hazard lights. The motorcade didn’t block me up – I was running after all, not stuck behind the wheel – so I turned up Canal and passed the funeral home from whence they must have come.
The new chapel, finally, had been completed. The bulldozers and bags of roof tile that had been stationed all around were finally gone. I thought, wow, this looks like a great place to have a funeral. Ok, I admit, I didn’t really think that. But I did wonder how they would capitalize on this new addition to their facility. Would they take out an ad? Publish some news on their Social Media? Did they even use Social Media? Thinking back to the procession, I wondered, How did Lincoln get the monopoly on funeral cars?
Granted, the Lincoln Town Car was not only ubiquitous among mourners. My grandfather, and many Old Lawyer Men just like him, tooled around town in the LTC. (That he would take up both lanes on some of New Orleans’ narrower streets is another story, as is the Styrofoam cup of Taaka vodka always nestled in the car’s cup holder…)
But still, did Lincoln fight for the contract with all funeral homes everywhere?
I don’t really care about the answer to that particular question, I don’t think, but I could see a story revolving around these details: the fraught decision to expand the chapel, the increase in contract fees with Lincoln, the Social Media campaign – and the hipster content specialist who creates it.